Dear @ParisHilton, It makes now one montH that i'm in a private hospital to treat my bulimia and it's very difficult to handle.I have no visit and no permission of exit.My family is missing me so much that i can't describe it. Especially, my mother with which i maintain a fusionelle relation like you do with Kathy, your down to heart mum. When you suffer from this disease , you are totally obssessed by foods. It becomes your only one topic , so you isolate yourself more and more. Anyway, you can have a public life because all the places where you reunite with people like coffees, restaurants ... are hunted by this drug. Yes, cause you can call it drugs, it takes so much places in your thoughts that when you see this you think at just one think TO EAT. And to eat a lot, to fill your stomach of affection and then you go vomiting. The culpability that you felt at this time is so intense that there is no other way that pile ! Also, you are so afraid to take pounds you constantly weigh yourself and look at you in the mirror. I said it's a drug because there is the same mechanism that in other addictions like games, alcohool ... You felt a sensation of lack and she comes, you would be ready to do anything to fill her. Me, i've chosen the food to fill this hollow in me. But there i get lost in theories but what I wanted to tell you it's how you help me so much of this battle of everyday. To see you so selfconfident makesme understand that you personnal value don't come from others people judgements but from what you decide to think of you. And if you choose to love yourself , it's the proof that you are in hermony with you. Furthemore, all the little tweets of hope you give me make me believe in my cure. They also bring a smile on my face when i read them and for the first time, I don't feel alone in this struggle. Finally, the fact that you want to send me some presents makes me realise how life can be good ! So, why destroy yourself? I'm so proud to be your fans and my parents when i have them at phone are very happy for me when they know that you have sent me a word because they know you make me fell good. They thank you a lot for this and me I'm so grateful forall you have done for me that words can't describe it. You're my sunbeam ! You give to other without asking in return. You're an angel. Thanks for existing i will be lost without you . I would have nobody to hang up me to the life. Love always Marlène
